Gather round boys and girls, for today I have for you a tale of my adventures that illustrates a bit of the nature of women and how best to seduce them. Part of this story is a little embarrassing for me. Yes, even the esteemed Christian Grey makes pitiable errors in his seductive judgment at times. But I am going to share it with you anyway so that you may avoid the shame that is brought upon a man by practicing poor game.
A couple weeks ago my travels brought me to the beautiful land of Colombia to indulge myself in some exotic beauties and choice cocaine. Actually I avoided the drugs, as I’m a little uneasy about the prospect of being a gringo in a foreign prison. But the quality of women there was unbelievable. There were beautiful women walking around everywhere. Hardly a fatty in sight. Even the older women were moderately attractive. It was daygamers’ paradise. And daygame I did, though that is not the subject of this post.
Instagram Girl #1: What Not To Do
If you’ve been following this blog, you know I’ve devised a system to amass a considerable following of girls on Instagram who love my particular archetype. It’s a little hard to believe, but some girls really will obsess over and even fall in love with a man they’ve never actually met in person. Anyway, I arranged to meet one of my Instagram followers, a very sweet looking 20 year old brunette, in her town near Medellin. Let’s call her Maria (not her real name).
After spending a few days in Medellin, I hopped on a bus, traversed through the incredibly beautiful scenery of the Andes mountains, and found a hotel in her town (I would have invited myself to stay with her, but, like most girls I met in Colombia, she lived with her parents). The odds of me seducing this girl were totally stacked in my favor; I figured it was already a done deal. She had been leaving comments with lots of heart emojis in all my pictures, messaged me first on Instagram, added me on Facebook, and even told me over messenger that she thought she would fall in love with me.
Pretty hard to screw that up, you might think, but I did. After a four hour long bus ride (progress is slow driving through the mountains), I arrived at my hotel room. I told Maria that I had arrived, and she was to come by and meet me and show me around the city.
I met Maria outside my hotel room. She was young, cute (not super hot, but definitely bangable), and sweet. I gave her a hug. She showed me around her (mostly unremarkable) city, stopping here and there for food and coffee. We had some difficulty communicating, as she only spoke Spanish. We had talked in Spanish over WhatsApp previously and had no problems, but reading and writing is easier for me than speaking. So I was kind of struggling to understand what she was saying, which brought down my confidence in my ability to navigate the situation a bit.
She left that afternoon to pick up her mom from work. We met again that evening, and she took me to a dimly lit bar with interesting artwork on the walls and 80’s rock music playing. We found a couch in the corner, had a few beers, and talked about music. I generally like to find a secluded spot when on a date, so I can kiss the girl without people watching. After twenty minutes or so, I kissed her. She happily accepted, and we made out a little bit in the bar.
After a couple more beers, Maria said she needed to go home to do something for her mom. This was a logistical obstacle I had not anticipated. I had wanted to bring her to my hotel. We walked back to the hotel together, kissed, I tried unsuccessfully to convince her to stay a little while, and she left. Disappointed, I went to bed.
We met again in the afternoon the next day. Maria came to my hotel. I went outside, and told her to come up to my room. I gave her some lame excuse about showing her a new song I had recorded. She seemed reluctant, but agreed. We went to the hotel room, and sat together on the bed and I showed her the song on my laptop. Halfway through the song I started kissing her. I put the laptop aside and kept making out with her, and started to kiss her neck. She started to resist, saying something along the lines of “I thought you were just going to show me a song”. I tried pushing a bit, but it was clear she wasn’t biting. Thwarted again.
We went out around town again, which was even less exciting than the previous day. She had to leave again in the late afternoon for something, and that was the last I ever saw of her. I was supposed to see her again that night, but she made some excuse about having to work in another town the following morning and had to leave that night. She seemed a little disappointed, but not that much.
So I spent the rest of the night walking around alone, dejected, in a foreign city that I didn’t know nor particularly like and didn’t speak the language very well. I made a few halfhearted attempts as gaming girls walking around, but really wasn’t feeling it. Most of all I was ashamed of myself for having fucked up what should have been an easy lay.
Instagram Girl #2: A Much Better Showing
The next day I returned to Medellin, which was a relief, though I was still feeling a little down from my failure that weekend. Of course, I would ideally be able to maintain a solid positive frame regardless of external circumstances, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
Anyway, I now had another Instagram girl coming to see me. This girl lived in Venezuela and was taking a two-day bus ride (yes, really) to visit me in Medellin. She also had friends in the city who had agreed to let her stay with them, which was good because she probably wouldn’t have come that far if it meant she risked being totally alone if I happened to flake on her. I had talked to this girl–let’s call her Diana–on Instagram and WhatsApp, and she was clearly into me, though she was not as effusive as Maria.
I met Diana at the metro station nearest my Airbnb. She was a very pretty blonde girl with big tits and a very sexy accent. Definitely a step up from Maria. We hugged rather briefly and started walking to get something to eat. Diana spoke good English, which was a relief. However, she seemed rather agitated and cold. We talked, and she told me a little bit about the rapidly deteriorating situation in her country. Venezuela’s people were suffering shortages of food and basic necessities, and they were staging mass protests in the streets as a result. The socialist government was responding by beating down and murdering the protestors. Diana herself had been injured by the police.
After lunch, we walked back to the Airbnb, where I had to do some work. On the way back, I began holding her hand. She asked me, rather coldly, “are you going to hold my hand the whole way back?” I said no, and promptly dropped her hand. In retrospect, perhaps I should have said “yes” and continued to hold her hand. But of course I dodged the real pitfall, which was to answer self-consciously with something along the lines of “oh don’t you want to? I thought maybe you liked me”.
We arrived at the apartment, and I showed her the amazing view of the city through the window. She still seemed cold and agitated, but I went in for the kiss. She didn’t resist, though she did seem a little reluctant. She commented that I had soft hands, like a girl. I can’t remember how I responded exactly, but I knew better than to respond defensively to this kind of basic bitch shit test. But even though I didn’t show it, I was losing confidence.
I broke off and tried to work on my laptop a bit while she watched tv in the other room. My mind was racing. I felt like I was ruining yet another good opportunity. I was already beating myself up over it, since I was still in kind of a negative headspace because of what happened with Maria. Starting to believe that you’re not good with girls is absolute poison for your game. It is a very potent self-fulfilling prophecy.
After a few minutes I went to the other room, sat on the bed with her, and kissed Diana again. I was still in a kind of negative vibe. She pulled away and said “why are you kissing me? We’re just friends. Friends don’t kiss each other on the lips”. I passed off her objection with a nonchalant “because I thought you were cute”, or something along those lines, and went back to my work.
I couldn’t focus on my work. I finally stopped trying and told myself “This is ridiculous. You’re acting like a little bitch. Snap out of it!” Being honest with yourself sucks sometimes, but in the long run it’s far better than blaming circumstances instead of taking responsibility for your own outcomes. I thought of an NLP exercise I had learned a long time ago, and I gave it a try.
I closed my eyes and imagined an ideal version of myself. This is my mind’s view of a fictional character that looks like me but has unshakeable confidence and acts accordingly. Visualizing this ideal version of yourself is much easier than trying to convince yourself that you’re already unshakably confident, etc., because if you try to do the latter, some evil little part of your mind will come in and say “That’s not you. You’re lying.” and ruin the visualization. It’s easier if you imagine an ideal version of yourself in the third person, as a possibility rather than as a (falsifiable) reality.
Anyway, I spent a couple minutes watching super-me (who always seems to be wearing jeans and a black v-neck) strutting around space looking confident and powerful and flirting irresistibly with apparitions of pretty girls. After a couple minutes I opened my eyes, and I felt quite a lot better about myself. It’s a curious thing about the human mind, but it is in some ways incapable of separating reality from fantasy. This makes visualization exercises extremely powerful. I recommend doing them regularly.
At that point it finally dawned on me that I should go on the internet and look for some cool things to do around town. I found that there was a cool park, full of funny statues of fat people, within walking distance. I told Diana we were going to go there after I finished work.
We started walking through the city to the park. It was a 30 minute or so walk. We were walking past traffic, and Diana was irrationally nervous, especially whenever a motorcycle passed by. I made fun of her for being so nervous, and she told me that in Venezuela government cronies would drive by on motorcycles and shoot people on the side of the road. Good thing we weren’t in Venezuela! I told her there was nothing to worry about, took her hand, and led her to our destination.
It was at this point I could tell she was finally yielding to my frame and letting me take the lead. This is vital to seduction. You are the man. You need to take charge. And the woman needs to be willing to submit to you before she will let herself be seduced by you. Seduction occurs when the sexual polarity between a man and a woman are in their natural places.
From then on Diana changed dramatically from tough girl who got in fights with police into a sweet, submissive little kitten. We went around the park taking a bunch of couple-y photos together (at her insistence), then met up with her friends and went to a bar for a few drinks. After a while I dragged her away to a different bar, away from her friends, and we made out passionately.
I tried to get her to come home with me, but she insisted on going home with her friends since she had left all her stuff at their house. I went home alone, but I knew I was almost there. The next morning she sent me a message saying she wished she was sleeping with me. A few hours later she got her wish. And it was amazing.
After a couple days of fun with Diana, I had to return home, despite her begging me to stay longer. She still texts me constantly, and I will likely meet up with her soon, as I plan on traveling to South America again in the near future. This happy ending to a story with a rather rough beginning lifted my spirits enormously. I do love game.
You’ve probably deduced some of these yourself by now, but I want to go over some of the lessons I learned on this trip so that you can benefit from my experience.
1) Game in a Foreign Language is Hard
You are always in a better position if you are speaking a language you are fully comfortable with, even if the girl doesn’t speak it very well. It is your job as a man to project confidence, and that is difficult to do when you are struggling to communicate. It is also difficult to strategize your seduction while having to spend all your mental energy on speaking. It is not a problem if the girl is struggling to communicate. If anything, it elevates your relative status, since she is the one investing effort, and makes her more attracted to you.
Ideally you should target girls that speak your language, but if you want to game a girl who doesn’t speak your language, you need to try to keep your frame as solid as possible, and try to emphasize nonverbal over verbal communication. Another option, which I gleaned from Dorian Gray, is to use the Google Translator app, which quickly translates whole sentences. It used to be that those translators were only good for one word at a time, since they have a hard time with grammar, but I tested this one and the full sentence translations were surprisingly good.
2) Bad Game Can Ruin Even the Best Setup
Women continually test men and prod for signs of weakness. It is in their nature. She may have been daydreaming about you for a month, but if you seem weak and needy when you meet her, she will lose all attraction for you in a very short time. Guard your vibe carefully, and don’t get lazy.
3) Avoid Investing in Her More Than She Invests in You
I flew to a new country, then took a four hour bus ride to see Maria. She walked down the street to see me. Of course, I was going to Colombia regardless, and I had wanted to see more of Colombia than just Medellin, so it certainly wasn’t all for her. But it might have looked that way. Especially the bus ride part.
My having apparently invested more than her made me look lower value than her. Be cognizant of this. Always try to get the girl to invest in you when possible (note that unlike Maria, Diana traveled to see me). If you’re going to travel to see a girl, make up an excuse for why you were already going to be in the area anyway.
4) Learn to Control Your Mind
Inner game is massively important. Being unable to control your emotions is a womanly trait, and women find it repulsive in men. Ground yourself in a meaningful purpose and work towards something greater than your own gratification. This will keep you stable when circumstances don’t go your way. Learn to control yourself in the moment by doing regular meditation exercises. Do visualization exercises when you want to improve your mental state and/or performance in an upcoming challenge.
5) Don’t Give Up
Seduction is a minefield. There are a thousand little steps on the way to a successful seduction, and a misstep on any one of them could blow your chances. Accept that you will mess up, you will blow opportunities, and keep on going. Don’t be discouraged. Learn from your mistakes and push forward.