As I’ve written before, the new reality of the sexual market in Western (anti-) civilization is that the top few alpha males get the lion’s share of hot pussy all to themselves. For those of you who are recovering betas, the idea of dating multiple women at the same time probably feels weird, unnatural, or even sleazy to you. That said, you likely have a primordial drive to do it anyway. You dirty dog, you. I’m going to tell you how to go about doing it in a way that makes both you and your lucky harem of hotties (mostly) happy at the same time.
The first thing to realize is that women intuitively know the deal. Women in general have a far better base level understanding of the dating market than us men. But women are also extremely talented in the art of self-delusion. The fact is that if you are a high value alpha male who hasn’t made any exclusive commitment, women expect that you probably have multiple sources of poontang.
This leads us to rule number one of dating multiple women: Don’t ever initiate “the talk” about the relationship status. This should go without saying, but a lot of guys feel guilty and fuck this up. As long as you haven’t made any commitment to be exclusive with a particular girl, you’re in the clear. It is the man’s job to push for sex and the woman’s job to push for exclusivity. If you’re fucking her, then you’ve already done your job.
If a girl is sleeping with you but has not asked you for a relationship, it is because she is worried about putting herself in a difficult situation. Women intuitively know that men have higher standards for whom we’re willing to have a relationship with than whom we’re willing to fuck. If a woman you’re fucking asks you for a relationship, and you say no, that’s a massive blow to her ego. Women hate rejection just as much as we do, and being rejected by a man to whom she has already given her most precious gift is particularly painful. On top of that, if you do say no to her, she will feel obligated to stop having sex with you in order to salvage some of her dignity. If she’s enjoying the sex (and the companionship), she will not want to do this. Initiating “the talk” is not something women take lightly.
So your main goal is to keep your women from initiating the talk as long as possible. The second rule, then, is: Don’t make it obvious that you’re dating multiple women. Even though women intuitively realize that you are probably dating other women, they can ignore this if they are not reminded of it. So obviously you don’t want to talk about the other women in front of one of your women. If she hears it, she’ll feel compelled to confront it. Otherwise she may be satisfied to ignore it. It also means you need to keep your privacy. Password protect your computer and your phone. If you’re on Tinder or another dating app, turn off notifications. Tinder notifications make a distinctive sound that many women will recognize immediately. If you have women texting or calling you, make sure they don’t come up on your caller ID as “Jenny Tinder”. If you have girls messaging you on Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger, make sure that the content of the messages you receive is not visible from the front screen of your locked phone. Failure to do this almost lost me a girl a few days ago (which was what prompted this article). Accept the fact that women will snoop on your phone if you let them.
Now that you’re mercifully giving your girls the option of ignoring your womanizing, the next rule is: Give her the boyfriend experience. The more satisfied a girl is with her undefined relationship with you, the less likely she is going to be to initiate the talk. Women want to feel loved, cared for, protected, and special. You should oblige her as best you can. Don’t just fuck her and leave every time you see her. Take her on dates, romantic walks, dinners, let her sleep over, buy her a (small) present for Christmas and Valentines Day, etc. Don’t be a suck up (of the “happy wife, happy life” variety), but do be thoughtful and be a gentleman. The more she enjoys the relationship, the greater the disincentive for her to risk ruining it by demanding exclusivity. If you don’t mind being a little manipulative, also mention occasionally that you love how she is non-needy and has her own life.
Now, as I mentioned before, you’re never going to be able to stave off “the talk” forever, no matter how well you play it (my record is one year). Women will always want a relationship and eventually they will work up the courage to ask for it. While this is to be avoided as much as possible, it does not mean all is lost. The best way to deal with this is to have an excuse ready beforehand why you can’t reasonably be expected to be exclusive with her. This should be something that is either her fault or just the fault of circumstances. If she lives far away, that’s an easy excuse. If she works a lot and you can only see her once a week, that’s a good excuse. Conversely if she always wants to see you all the time, you can tell her you think she’s too needy and you want to see that she isn’t a codependent nutcase (not exactly in those words) before you commit to a relationship. Try to avoid reasons that put yourself at fault (i.e. “I’m just not ready”) or something that’s her fault but that she can easily change.
Also realize that while she is asking for exclusivity, there is a lot more bundled up in the “relationship” package than just exclusivity. She wants to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel special, to feel like you won’t run away and abandon her, etc. You want to emphasize those other facets that you are willing to provide. Tell her you really like her, you love hanging out with her, she’s special to you, you would hate to see her sad, and so on. Combine this with a reasonable excuse, and you should be able to buy yourself some extra time.
But accept the fact that women ultimately want a stable relationship and children, and if you aren’t willing to provide that, they won’t stay around forever. Keep your game tight, because you will lose girls and have to replace them. And, of course, if you do eventually come to the point where you want to settle down with one woman, there is absolutely no shame in doing so. If you find a woman who is worth the commitment and makes you happy, then go for it.