Most, if not all, civilized nations have a tradition of monogamy. Traditionally, most men pair with one woman, and the two of them are expected to stay together for the rest of their lives. A man’s wife may be chosen by him or chosen by his parents, and she is usually about equal to him in sexual market value. This tends to be what most of us think of as the default sexual arrangement. It is a largely favorable arrangement for most people, since it means most men get a sexual partner, and most women are adequately cared for as they get older and their sexual market value declines.
However beneficial, this arrangement is actually somewhat atypical when viewed in the context of the entirety of human history, and does not conform to our basic sexual desires. It is also breaking down quickly in modern Western civilization. Men typically prefer to have sex with as many women as possible (over a certain threshold of physical attractiveness). And women like to have sex with the one highest value man available. The result of these two differing strategies between the sexes is the state of human sexuality that has been the norm throughout most of history: most of the women mate with just a few of the highest value men. The highest value men get many women, and the lower value men get nothing.
Western civilization is currently in the process of throwing out the old model of marital monogamy and regressing to the more primitive state in which a few men get all the women. This monogamous arrangement was largely held in place by a patriarchal religious social order. But this social order is rapidly disintegrating. This is blindsiding a large portion of us men who have been raised to believe that if we are good, productive citizens who work hard and treat women nicely, then we will find a good wife and have a happy family. This expectation is becoming less realistic by the day.
With freely available birth control and the relaxation of social constraints on both sexes, human sexuality is regressing to its historical norm. Many observers, myself included, believe this to be very harmful for civilization. However I strongly believe that it is better to accept an unpleasant reality and adapt accordingly than it is to sit around complaining about the new reality and wishing it would go back to how it was before. For this reason, I have made sure to make myself one of those high value men to whom women are attracted. And I suggest you do the same.
Men whose sexual needs go unfulfilled can often be a danger to themselves and to society. The more we regress to a primitive sexuality, the more of such men there will be, as the sexual spoils increasingly go into the hands of the elite few. And the more desperate men will become. Men who can’t get laid are likely responsible for many of society’s ills. They commit suicide. They rape and murder. They join gangs and terrorist organizations. They numb themselves with drugs and alcohol. Eventually they learn that being productive members of society gains them nothing but cheap diversions and higher taxes.
The more men realize the hard way that everything they’ve been taught is a lie, the faster the once glorious Western civilization will crumble. My hope is that we can preempt and mitigate this destructive trend by telling men in advance that they have been lied to before they make important life decisions based on those lies, and teach them how to navigate the new sexual market in a way that leaves them healthy, happy, and fulfilled.
Learn game. And teach the men you care about. It might just save the world.