The Interaction Between Social Status and Game

Reader Daniel poses a question about my Instagram Seduction program that I found very interesting because it brings up a complex issue: what is the relationship between social status and success with women?

Will your product also help me on my social status? Or is it only geared on getting girls?

The TL;DR answer is that getting girls and having high social status are so closely interlinked that they can’t really be treated separately. In other words, raising your social status will increase your success with women, and picking up high value women will raise your social status.

To illustrate this, consider a thought experiment. Say we have three average guys. Let’s call them Larry, Moe, and Curly. The three of them are good friends. They play video games and drink beer and watch football together every weekend. None of them are particularly rich, good looking, have impressive jobs, or are very good with the ladies. In the pickup lingo, they are AFCs (average frustrated chumps). However one of the three, let’s say Moe, is a little more interesting, charismatic, and outgoing than his two friends. Maybe he has an interesting hobby that the other two don’t. And he tends to be the de facto leader of the group when they are together. We would probably conclude that Moe has the highest social status of the group.

Now imagine Larry, Moe, and Curly are all out at the bar shooting pool on a Friday night. All three of them are too nervous or too disillusioned to go approach any girls, so they keep to themselves. Then a moderately attractive girl wearing an Ohio State t-shirt comes up and asks the guys to take a picture of her. All three guys are big Ohio State fans, so they start talking about football with her. One of the guys ends up getting the girl’s number. Which guy was it?

You probably guessed Moe. Because Moe has the highest social status. Higher social status generally means more success with with women.

Now consider another situation. Let’s say Moe never managed to make it work with the girl from the bar, because the close was weak and she never returned his texts. Curly, however, has managed to get himself a pretty hot girlfriend. Maybe he just got really really lucky, or maybe he built up a high value Instagram presence and got the attention of a hometown hottie. Either way, next time the group goes to the bar, Moe and Larry are single while Curly has a hot girl on his arm along with the smile and confident swagger that goes with it. Which of the guys has the highest social status now?

Probably Curly. Hot girls confer high social status to the men who obtain them. It’s a virtuous cycle. Raise your social status and you’ll get hotter girls, which in turn will raise your social status even more, which will get you more/hotter girls. And the cycle continues. OR start getting hot girls, then your social status will increase, then you will get more hot girls, etc.

The same is true in reverse. Low social status is a swamp that’s difficult to get out of. If you can’t get girls, your social status will be low. And if your social status is low, you’ll have a hard time getting girls.

The real power of game is in essentially fabricating high social status in order to get out of the swamp. This is true in any environment: night, day, or online. I found Instagram to be the ideal platform for this, because Instagram allows you to present an idealized image of yourself without the baggage (i.e. “if you’re on internet dating, you must be a loser that can’t meet girls in real life”) that necessarily comes with regular online dating. With Instagram, you can show everything cool and exciting about yourself (even stretch the truth, if you so choose) through your profile without ever mentioning that you actually spend most of your existence sitting at a desk or at home playing Xbox. You can also build massive social proof without much effort, if you know how to go about it.

My Instagram Seduction method, then, represents the Curly strategy as opposed to the Moe strategy. That said, I HIGHLY recommend working on both sides at once: work on getting girls and also work on all the other facets of building social status at the same time. So choose a particular method of applying game (such as the Instagram method) and also build your social circle, get a cool hobby, get a better paying job, get in shape, etc.  at the same time as you’re working on your game. If you’re stuck in the swamp, this will be difficult and require considerable effort at first, so take advantage of every shortcut you can. Once you start gaining some momentum your social status and your success with girls will multiply with minimal effort.

Dating Multiple Girls: How to Woman-Proof your Phone (for Android)

In a previous post, I described how I go about keeping multiple girls in my rotation at the same time. Best practice in my experience is that if you are dating multiple girls, you don’t rub their faces in it. Women tend to be nosy, and they will go through your private information if you don’t keep it hidden.

I had a situation recently in which this almost lost me one of my best girls. I had another girl message me asking if I could come over during the weekend (which, ironically, was just an ex-coworker who wanted me to teach her some work stuff. Totally non-sexual.) Anyway, I keep my phone locked, but it shows notifications on the lock screen, and the girl I had over decided to look at my phone, read the message, and then left without saying a word. Eventually I got her to talk, she told me what happened, and we lived happily ever after.

But the incident certainly taught me a lesson about protecting the content of my messages. In this article, I’m going to show you how to protect your messages on an Android phone (I don’t have an iPhone, so you Mac people will just have to figure it out for yourselves).

The first thing you need to do, if you haven’t already, is password protect your phone. Whether you use a PIN or a pattern or something fancy like fingerprint identification doesn’t really matter. As long as you’re just trying to keep out a few girls and not Chinese hackers you should be fine with any of the above. To password protect your phone, swipe down from the top of the screen, and push the little gear icon at the top to open the settings menu.

find Android settings menu for dating multiple girls

Android settings menu

Then select a screen lock from the “Screen lock type” option. Once you’ve done that, you’ll want to manually set notifications on the lock screen. This will prevent your messages from being readable to nosy girls looking at your phone. Choose the “Notifications on lock screen” option.

Find security settings on Android smartphone for dating multiple girls

Android security settings

From here you’ll get to choose which notifications you want to show up on your lock screen. By default, all apps are set to ON. If you want to be really safe, you can just turn them all off. But what I prefer is just to turn off the ones that are potentially incriminating.

Manually set lock screen notificaions for apps on an Android smartphone for dating multiple girls

Android lock screen notifications

I recommend you go through the whole list so you don’t miss any. I had quite a few: calls, texts, facebook messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram (because of the DMs), and a few others.

All done? Good. Now go password lock your computer.

How to Date Multiple Girls

As I’ve written before, the new reality of the sexual market in Western (anti-) civilization is that the top few alpha males get the lion’s share of hot pussy all to themselves. For those of you who are recovering betas, the idea of dating multiple women at the same time probably feels weird, unnatural, or even sleazy to you. That said, you likely have a primordial drive to do it anyway. You dirty dog, you. I’m going to tell you how to go about doing it in a way that makes both you and your lucky harem of hotties (mostly) happy at the same time.

The first thing to realize is that women intuitively know the deal. Women in general have a far better base level understanding of the dating market than us men. But women are also extremely talented in the art of self-delusion. The fact is that if you are a high value alpha male who hasn’t made any exclusive commitment, women expect that you probably have multiple sources of poontang.

This leads us to rule number one of dating multiple women: Don’t ever initiate “the talk” about the relationship status. This should go without saying, but a lot of guys feel guilty and fuck this up. As long as you haven’t made any commitment to be exclusive with a particular girl, you’re in the clear. It is the man’s job to push for sex and the woman’s job to push for exclusivity. If you’re fucking her, then you’ve already done your job.

If a girl is sleeping with you but has not asked you for a relationship, it is because she is worried about putting herself in a difficult situation. Women intuitively know that men have higher standards for whom we’re willing to have a relationship with than whom we’re willing to fuck. If a woman you’re fucking asks you for a relationship, and you say no, that’s a massive blow to her ego. Women hate rejection just as much as we do, and being rejected by a man to whom she has already given her most precious gift is particularly painful. On top of that, if you do say no to her, she will feel obligated to stop having sex with you in order to salvage some of her dignity. If she’s enjoying the sex (and the companionship), she will not want to do this. Initiating “the talk” is not something women take lightly.

So your main goal is to keep your women from initiating the talk as long as possible. The second rule, then, is: Don’t make it obvious that you’re dating multiple women. Even though women intuitively realize that you are probably dating other women, they can ignore this if they are not reminded of it. So obviously you don’t want to talk about the other women in front of one of your women. If she hears it, she’ll feel compelled to confront it. Otherwise she may be satisfied to ignore it. It also means you need to keep your privacy. Password protect your computer and your phone. If you’re on Tinder or another dating app, turn off notifications. Tinder notifications make a distinctive sound that many women will recognize immediately. If you have women texting or calling you, make sure they don’t come up on your caller ID as “Jenny Tinder”. If you have girls messaging you on Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger, make sure that the content of the messages you receive is not visible from the front screen of your locked phone.  Failure to do this almost lost me a girl a few days ago (which was what prompted this article). Accept the fact that women will snoop on your phone if you let them.

Now that you’re mercifully giving your girls the option of ignoring your womanizing, the next rule is: Give her the boyfriend experience. The more satisfied a girl is with her undefined relationship with you, the less likely she is going to be to initiate the talk. Women want to feel loved, cared for, protected, and special. You should oblige her as best you can. Don’t just fuck her and leave every time you see her. Take her on dates, romantic walks, dinners, let her sleep over, buy her a (small) present for Christmas and Valentines Day, etc. Don’t be a suck up (of the “happy wife, happy life” variety), but do be thoughtful and be a gentleman. The more she enjoys the relationship, the greater the disincentive for her to risk ruining it by demanding exclusivity. If you don’t mind being a little manipulative, also mention occasionally that you love how she is non-needy and has her own life.

Now, as I mentioned before, you’re never going to be able to stave off “the talk” forever, no matter how well you play it (my record is one year). Women will always want a relationship and eventually they will work up the courage to ask for it. While this is to be avoided as much as possible, it does not mean all is lost. The best way to deal with this is to have an excuse ready beforehand why you can’t reasonably be expected to be exclusive with her. This should be something that is either her fault or just the fault of circumstances. If she lives far away, that’s an easy excuse. If she works a lot and you can only see her once a week, that’s a good excuse. Conversely if she always wants to see you all the time, you can tell her you think she’s too needy and you want to see that she isn’t a codependent nutcase (not exactly in those words) before you commit to a relationship. Try to avoid reasons that put yourself at fault (i.e. “I’m just not ready”) or something that’s her fault but that she can easily change.

Also realize that while she is asking for exclusivity, there is a lot more bundled up in the “relationship” package than just exclusivity. She wants to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel special, to feel like you won’t run away and abandon her, etc. You want to emphasize those other facets that you are willing to provide. Tell her you really like her, you love hanging out with her, she’s special to you, you would hate to see her sad, and so on. Combine this with a reasonable excuse, and you should be able to buy yourself some extra time.

But accept the fact that women ultimately want a stable relationship and children, and if you aren’t willing to provide that, they won’t stay around forever. Keep your game tight, because you will lose girls and have to replace them. And, of course, if you do eventually come to the point where you want to settle down with one woman, there is absolutely no shame in doing so. If you find a woman who is worth the commitment and makes you happy, then go for it.

The Inner Workings of the Sexual Market Are Being Revealed to the Masses

Unlike economic markets, the sexual market is mostly a zero sum game. Women–attractive women especially–are a finite commodity, and men compete for them. If you get yourself a woman, either as your wife or an addition to your harem, that means the number of women available to me drops by one. Really the only realistic win-win scenario I could imagine would be to introduce a societal change that raises the quality of women across the board (maybe ban women from going to McDonald’s). But generally speaking, your gain is another man’s loss, and vice versa.

For this reason, it is imperative for those of us who want to come out ahead that we remain one step ahead of the masses of hapless beta males. As I’ve explained before, the changing sexual market is terrible for civilized society as a whole, but great for the few guys who know how to take advantage of it. Having game is like having short positions in a market that’s crashing. Great for you; not so much for everybody else.

So it naturally behooves us who are in the know to keep a finger on the pulse of the normal population. They are waking up. They are beginning to realize that the Disney storybook romance they’ve been sold bears little resemblance to reality. Here is a bit of evidence I stumbled upon yesterday that shows this to be the case:

If you don’t recognize the page, the Tasteless Gentleman is a facebook page that mostly shares dirty jokes. And it is very popular, as you probably could surmise from the 22,000 likes on the picture.

The meme is funny, but it is also frighteningly accurate. Modern women essentially bank on the expectation that they can sleep around and get treated to the finer things in life while they’re young and hot, and then when their looks start to fade, sell off their overused vaginas to some poor beta male who will happily marry them and look after them (and pay them alimony after the inevitable divorce).

So what do normal men do upon learning this unfortunately reality of the universe? A few things. First, and perhaps most obviously, they stop agreeing to marry the 30 year old former sluts, since they realize they’re getting a raw deal. After that, they essentially have two options: either just give up on women altogether and make do with their porn and video games (like those pathetic MGTOW guys or the Japanese “herbivores“), or double down and become more attractive than the men around them to get casual sex with the sluts while they are still young and hot. Clearly if they choose the former option it is good for us existing players, and the latter option is decidedly not. With proliferation of PUA knowledge on the internet, I expect a large portion of men to choose the latter, which means that we have to step up our game to be able to compete with the incoming hordes of aspiring players.

Another consideration is how women respond. Eventually women will collectively begin to notice that their “slut it up now, get married later” strategy isn’t working as well as it used to. Like the millennial college grads who expected a good job to be waiting for them but instead ended up working part time at Starbucks, the women turning 30 will discover that the husband they expected to be waiting for them is nowhere to be found and instead have to console themselves with cats and Zoloft. Presumably younger women will take notice and adapt their strategy accordingly by skipping the cock carousel and instead getting married at a young age. This means fewer hot, easy young girls on the market for us.

The PUA community has always been an interesting mix of competing idealism and opportunism. Idealists will be happy that the truth is finally reaching the masses. Opportunists will be unhappy that their insider knowledge is being exposed. Those of us that fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum (such as yours truly) have mixed feelings.

The Power of Instagram Game

My main focus over the last couple of years in the online sphere has been learning how to pick up girls on Instagram. I gained a particularly enthusiastic fan this morning, and I thought I’d show you one page of my notifications.

screenshot_20161126-134749_edited

I blocked out her picture in the post for the sake of preserving her anonymity, but this girl is a solid 8 out of 10. Beautiful, thin, light-skinned, dark haired girl. Looks about 20 years old. Exactly my type. She lives in Brazil (obviously her English isn’t great), so I can’t have her immediately, but it is pretty clear what would happen if I were to travel to her town or vice versa.

I’m not a bad looking guy, but I’m certainly no Brad Pitt either. What I do have is an Instagram profile, pictures, videos, and captions that exude high value. And I’ve built up a large amount of social proof. Studies, as well as my own experience, have shown that women’s perception of a man’s physical attractiveness are affected to a large extent by his other (more important) attractive qualities, such as how he carries himself and how other people respond to him. That is, a man with social proof and a high-value portrayal of himself will be considered far more handsome to women than a man who looks exactly the same but lacks those qualities. Seems counterintuitive, but it’s true. I guarantee you I am most certainly NOT the most handsome man this girl’s eyes have ever seen. But the social proof I’ve built and the value I portray color her perception of me so as to make me much more “handsome” than my looks alone would warrant.

Of course by now I’m sure you’re wondering how I built up this high value image. My full method is available in my comprehensive program, Instagram Seduction, but for now I’ll give you a few tips. If you haven’t already, check out part one and part two of my three-part series for online game in general to learn how to portray value and fit a sexy archetype. Got it? Great! Now I’m going to give you a powerful tip to build your social proof.

What do you do when you see a girl you don’t recognize like or comment on one of your photos? You probably go look at that girl’s profile, and maybe like some of her photos. Girls do the same thing. If you like one of their photos, they’ll go look at your profile and (usually) reciprocate. If they really like you (which a lot of them will if you followed my program), then they’ll like a lot of your pictures, follow you, leave gushing comments, etc. The Brazilian girl in the above example either found me because I liked one of her photos, or possibly from my hashtag strategy.

I won’t go over my hashtag strategy here (though I explain it in full in Instagram Seduction), but I will tell you how to find the girls who are likely be interested in you so you can like their photos and make them aware of your existence. Remember that sexy archetype you set up? Figure out what the female equivalent to that archetype is. If you’re a rock star, you want groupies. If you’re an athlete, you want female athletes. If you’re a spiritual hippie, you want hippie-ettes. Figure out what hashtags they use to tag their content. Rocker girls might use “#rockgirl”, “#rockergirl”, etc. Hippie girls might use “#hippiegirl”, “#spiritual”, “#yogagirl”, etc. Try searching these hashtags until you find one that is used by a lot of girls (and not a lot of guys). Obviously having the word “girl” in the hashtag will filter out guys, but many other hashtags will be used mostly by girls as well, even if they don’t directly specify.

Once you find a good hashtag, go down the list of content under that hashtag (I usually skip the “Top Posts”, because the girls there get so much attention they’re less likely to notice you) and like every picture that’s of a girl. You can spend a lot of time doing this, so don’t waste your life away. But even a few minutes of this will produce noticeable results. If this works for you, I’ll show you how to make it even quicker, easier, and more effective in Instagram Seduction. Getting to the point where women are falling all over themselves over you (as in the above example) does take a bit of time and effort, but I guarantee you it is worth every second.

The Modern Woman’s Lament

In a prior post, I made the case that the Western dating market is becoming unmoored from traditional monogamy and regressing toward the historical norm of a few men getting most of the women. My opinion is that this trend is bad for most men and all women. The loss for men is obvious: most men (all except the few alpha males) don’t get laid. The loss for women is portrayed quite passionately by a country song I heard recently.

I’ve begun to really like country music. It strikes me as much more honest and sincere than other forms of popular music. This is especially true of female artists. Female pop singers have turned into little more than man-hating feminist agitprop, whose cookie cutter songs are all about how they don’t need anyone else and they’re so proud of themselves for rudely rejecting guys at the bar and the like. While female pop singers are churning out endless streams of this pseudo-masculine posturing garbage, female country artists are happy to honestly express themselves as the delicate, vulnerable, beautiful creatures that have captured men’s hearts for all of human history. But, as this song demonstrates, even the more traditional country culture is falling prey to the changing sexual market.

The chorus says it all. Though as with almost anything that women say on the subject, this song does require a little bit of translation of the feelings and rationalizations into logical man-language.

You’re always gonna fly away just because you know you can. Never gonna learn there’s no such place as Neverland, you don’t understand. You’ll never grow up. You’re never gonna be a man, Peter Pan.

The guy is an alpha male with options. “Fly away” means sleep with other women. “Because you know you can” means other women want him. The Peter Pan metaphor is trying to paint the alpha male’s natural desires for sexual variety as immaturity. She’s obviously madly in love with the guy, yet she’s telling him that he’s not a real man. She’s trying to shame him into committing to her by questioning his manhood. This is something that players experience a lot.

In the new sexual market, women all compete for the few alpha males at the top and ignore all the other men. Since men prefer sexual variety, these alpha males take their fill of many different women. Every one of those women wants the alpha male to commit to her exclusively. But due to the lack of societal restraints in the new market, these men are generally unwilling to commit. So the women continue sharing the alpha male, whilst lamenting that isn’t a “real man”, rather than avail themselves of the icky alternative option: settle down with a beta male who is more than willing to commit.

The takeaway for us men here is that the old dating culture is dead. Like it or not, we have to adapt to the new reality. You can be an alpha male with a plethora of sexual options, or you can be a beta with porn and football and video games. The choice is yours.

Instagram Seduction is Available Now!

I’m proud to announce that I’ve published my comprehensive program for picking up girls on Instagram! This program is the result of an epic journey upon which I decided to embark two years ago. I was searching the internet for advice on how to optimize my performance on Tinder, when I happened to come across a short article for using Instagram to pick up girls. I can’t remember who wrote the article or even much of what it said, but it put the idea in my head: picking up girls on Instagram. It was a novel concept.

I looked for more articles and books on the subject. I thought surely there would be a wealth of information available for tapping this gold mine of hot pussy. All I could find was this short article by the City Bachelor (who I had never heard of before, but has some excellent material). He had some good ideas, which I then tested and tweaked, but I couldn’t find the comprehensive method I was looking for.

But I wasn’t going to give up. I saw the fact that almost no literature existed on the subject as an exciting opportunity. It meant Instagram was a fresh market with very little (informed) competition. So I set about creating a method for myself. I read countless blogs and articles about using Instagram for marketing a business and adapted it to game. I tried dozens of add-on services, both free and paid. I got my account suspended multiple times and put myself in some embarrassing situations figuring out how best to use automated services. I tested countless pictures, captions, and conversation openers to find which ones got the best response. I already had a solid foundation in PUA theory (which I think every guy should learn, even if you prefer to follow step by step directions), so I applied it to my method.

After immersing myself in this for months, patterns began to emerge. I came up with a beginning-to-end method for picking up girls on Instagram. And I started getting results. At first it was just foreign girls, sending me naked pictures and begging me to come visit them. Then I began to target my efforts toward local girls, and I started getting smoking hot girls, many of them not the type to hang out at dirty bars and clubs, to meet me at the bar beside my house. One of them, a leggy tattooed model, came over the day after she first messaged me and I fucked her immediately, no drinks or small talk or anything.  Another girl flew all the way to my city from Brazil just to see me. Life was great.

My good friend and fellow PUA Dorian Gray was amazed at the success I had gotten from Instagram, and he suggested I outline my method. I thought about that for a while, and decided I would create a whole program, since there wasn’t one available and it would be the first of its kind. So here you have it, gentlemen: Instagram Seduction. Enjoy!

Tinder is Ruined…Unless You Pay

I’ve had an ongoing love/hate relationship with Tinder for many years. It’s gotten me a lot of great lays and one steady girlfriend, but it’s also eaten up a lot of my time. The concept is great: you just absentmindedly swipe right on the hot girls’ pictures while you’re pooping, and it shows that you match if they like you too. Quick and dirty. Since it’s almost entirely based on pictures, fat/ugly girls don’t bother trying nearly as much as they do on typical dating sites, and the ones that do can be swiped left in a fraction of a second.

The major drawback of Tinder has always been, however, that there are far more men than women using the app. Further exacerbating the problem is that men tend to quickly swipe right on every halfway-decent looking girl (or every girl) in a matter of seconds, whereas women tend to look at profiles pretty thoroughly before deciding which way to swipe. The hot girls likely match with almost every guy they swipe right on. This means that not only is the number of guys far greater, but also the number of swipes per guy is greater as well. So there are a few girls swiping a little bit matched to tons of guys who are swiping a lot. For any one guy, this means that very few girls will even get the opportunity to see his profile.

I used to get a steady stream of matches from Tinder, generally in the range of two to four per day that I exhausted my swipes. But recently I stopped getting matches almost entirely. I think I figured out why. My profile didn’t change very much, though I am constantly tweaking a little bit here and there. What did change? The Boost function.

For five dollars (or a bit less if you buy in bulk), you can have Tinder move your profile to top priority for half an hour so that women are more likely to see it. Sounds cool, right? In reality, not so much. Remember that Tinder is a lot of male attention competing for a little bit of female attention. Now the guys who pay go to the front of the line. The guys who don’t get stuck in the back. This means, effectively, that if you live in any medium sized or larger metro area, girls will almost never see your profile except when you pay for the boost. And you can be sure that there are a lot of guys with no game and no other options who will gladly give away their life savings for any advantage in the dating market.

In the interest of science, I tried the boost function for the first time today. Sure enough, in half an hour I got two matches (both hot young college students whom I will message tomorrow if they don’t message me first, as per my normal strategy). Cool and all, but recall that previously I was getting two to four per day. This means that I need to pay for one to two boosts per day in order to match what I was previously getting for free. Let’s say that means six dollars per day (assuming I buy in bulk), times thirty days in a month is $180 a month for Tinder just to get the results I was previously getting for free. That’s several times more than even the fancy dating sites like Match and eHarmony charge. And presumably for the same population of girls who are mostly just attention whores with no intention of ever meeting in person.

It’s been a wild ride, Tinder, but alas I believe now is the time we part ways.

Basics of Online Game – Part Three

This is the last part of a three part series on online game. In case you missed it, here is Part One and Part Two.

In the earlier parts we went over how to portray attraction triggers through your online profile and how to fit your profile to a sexy archetype. Now we’re going to go into how to actually make contact with the girls we find attractive. To begin, we’ll go over two vitally important high-level concepts: frame and investment.

The concept of frame is a bit hard to define. The best I can explain it is that the frame of an interaction is the mutual underlying understanding of all parties involved about their roles and the intention of the interaction. For example, “boss criticizing employee trying to get him to perform better in the future” might be the frame of a conversation. Or “man praising attractive woman trying to initiate a romantic relationship” might be another. This frame is expressed through words as well as nonverbal signals. When in writing, nonverbal signals are replaced to some degree by things like time spent writing and punctuation.

The winning frame in any pickup attempt, whether in person or online, is that of a high value man with many sexual options being chased by a woman whose attraction he takes for granted. Imagine yourself as this man (whether this is actually true or not), and imagine what that version of you would say in each interaction. This version of you would likely be quick to initiate contact with a woman he finds attractive, but would not expend a ton of effort trying to win her over, since he knows he has plenty of other options. He would generally be happy, cocky, and fun. He would start a fun conversation and expect the girl to quickly fall for him and start expending effort of her own to win him over. And he wouldn’t be won over from the beginning; he would expect the girl to prove herself to him. This is how you want to act.

The term “investment” refers to the effort expended by both parties during the interaction. Generally speaking, whichever person invests the most (i.e. expends the most energy) is the one who is trying to chase the other, and thus is perceived to be of lower value. Women are attracted to men of higher value than them, so you want to make sure you invest less than she does. But don’t overdo it, you don’t want her to feel rejected either or she will give up trying to chase you. A good rule of thumb that applies to almost any situation is to invest two thirds as much as the woman invests. Online this means keeping your messages to 2/3 the length of hers, waiting 3/2 as long as her to respond to messages, and the like. You don’t want to be mechanical about it, just keep this in mind as a general rule for the overall interaction. You might have to invest more than the girl at the very beginning of an interaction, but you should try to quickly get to the optimal 2/3 situation.

In every sort of pickup, the debate persists over whether direct or indirect openers are preferable. Direct means you intentions clear from the beginning, such as by telling a girl you think she’s beautiful. Indirect means beginning the interaction without clearly showing your intentions, such as when you ask a girl for her opinion on something. The main advantage of going direct, typically, is that you show yourself to be a man who boldly owns his desires and isn’t afraid to express them. This is very sexy to women. The downside, however, is that it puts women in the somewhat awkward position of having to make a quick judgment of whether they find you attractive (where the default judgment is almost always “no”). Giving compliments also tends to boost the girl’s value in relation to yours, which does not help your case. Indirect openers are not as sexy, but they give you more time to establish your worth in other ways.

Online, however, the direct opener loses most of its value. It really takes very little courage or entitlement mentality to tell a girl over an online message that you find her attractive. So it really doesn’t have the effect of setting you apart the way direct game does in person. For that reason, I recommend using indirect openers in almost all situations in online game. Of course, the best opener of all is to sit back and let the girl come to you. Most of the time girls don’t do this, because it is generally considered the man’s job, but if a girl is willing to you should absolutely let her. That way she is the one chasing from the very beginning, which will make your job a lot easier. I like to give girls ample space to contact me first. When I get a match on Tinder, for example, I won’t message the girl for a day to see if she messages me first. On Instagram, I’ll like a girl’s photo and then wait for her to respond. Often she will comment or follow or send me a direct message. Only if she doesn’t do I then push the interaction myself. With girls who don’t contact you first (which will be most), you want to initiate contact in a way that is light-hearted and aloof, but at least somewhat value-giving (i.e. interesting or funny). My favorite way to do this is to tease her about something on her profile. You want to be cocky and funny, but you don’t want to offend the girl. If your message makes her blush and giggle, you’ve hit the sweet spot.

A few examples:

  • “I like your Pokemon hat, you must be a big nerd”
  • “You look like one of those hippie girls, I bet you’re high right now”
  • “Your pigtails are cute. You look like the kind of girl who still loves Disney movies.”

You get the idea. If I’m afraid that my tease is too harsh and might be taken as insulting, I temper it with a mild compliment (often “it’s cute” or “I like it”). That said, most guys who are new to pickup tend to be too nice. I recommend erring on the side of being too harsh until you get a good idea of where the sweet spot is. “Girls love assholes” is the common understanding for a reason.

Once the girl replies back to your opener, continue making silly assumptions about her and teasing her. Remember your frame: you aren’t trying hard to impress her, you’re just having fun. You’re enjoying yourself by playing around with her, just like you might play around with your little sister. Women love it. After some back and forth there, you’ll want to steer the conversation toward more personal topics, where you can tell her a bit about you and learn a bit about her. Careful you don’t get stuck in this frame for too long, as it does get boring if you overdo it. Once you’ve learned a bit about her, ask her on a date. If you’ve laid the groundwork properly, she will happily oblige.

Lots more on making conversation to girls online, including specific examples, can be found in Instagram Seduction, which is my comprehensive method for finding and attracting beautiful girls on Instagram.

Basics of Online Game – Part Two

This post is a continuation of Part One.

In the first part of this series we discussed general characteristics to shoot for when creating an online profile, based on women’s attraction triggers. In this section we will discuss how to take advantage of the associations that have already been driven deep into women’s subconscious minds by fitting your image to a culturally understood archetype. Note that I am approaching this from the perspective of Western (American/European) culture, so you may need to adjust to the archetypes of the culture in which the girls you’re trying to pick up were raised. These days it seems American culture has permeated nearly the entire world to some extent, so this strategy should be of at least some benefit globally.

Our subconscious minds make associations quickly and automatically in order to help us better understand the world. You can probably think of some associations that you make yourself. Is there a particular song that makes you think back to an earlier time in your life every time you hear it? Or a smell that immediately reminds you of a past lover? Or have you see a stranger who resembles someone who mistreated you in your past and automatically have negative feelings toward that stranger? These are all subconscious associations, and they have a powerful influence over our feelings towards new stimuli.

These associations affect sexuality as well, especially for women. In some cases this is obvious. If you meet a girl who had a major crush on Johnny Depp when she was a teenager, and you happen to look like Johnny Depp, she is likely going to be more attracted to you than she would be to an equally good looking guy who doesn’t look like her teenage crush. Of course, whom we happen to look like is mostly out of our control, and most of us don’t look like Johnny Depp. But a much more realistic option exists for the rest of us: tailoring our image to a particular archetype.

Consider in your mind a few images of general types of men whom women find attractive. You might think of a rich young playboy/CEO. Or a rebellious charismatic rock star. Or a triumphant pro athlete. Or a strong, courageous firefighter. These are all examples of archetypes. They are clusters of characteristics that people generally tend to associate together. Once we have placed a person as belonging to a particular archetype, then we tend to automatically assume that person has all the characteristics normally associated with that archetype, even if we have no evidence that such is the case.

For example, let’s say I tell you that Joe is a firefighter. What do we assume about Joe? Most of us would probably assume that he’s tall, strong, good looking, masculine, protective of women, etc. This is a sexy archetype. Any one of those assumptions may be dead wrong, because in actuality we don’t know anything about Joe except his profession, but we make the assumptions anyway. Now let’s say I tell you that John is a pothead. What do we assume about John? Probably that he’s poor, messy, eats bad food, doesn’t have a good job, plays a lot of video games, drinks a lot of Mountain Dew, and doesn’t get very many or very hot women. Of course in reality John could actually be highly successful and organized, but that isn’t what we tend to think of when we consider the pothead archetype. This is a distinctly unsexy archetype.

You probably see where I’m going with this. If you can fit yourself to an archetype that women do consider sexy, then you get the benefit of their assuming all sorts of attractive qualities about you that you may have never actually showed them. Online profiles make it very easy to do this. Post a picture of yourself in firefighter gear, and you get to reap the benefits of all the positive traits women associate with the firefighter archetype. The following is a list of a few sexy male archetypes along with a bit of guidance for how to position yourself as fitting that archetype:

Party Master: Choose pictures of yourself hanging out with people and having a good time. The happier you look, the better. The more friends around you, the better. The better looking and higher status your friends, the better. The more other people are focused on you, the better.

party-boy

Rebel Biker: Post a picture with your motorcycle. Post a picture with you in leather biker gear. Show your tattoos. If you’re the center of attention in a group of tough biker guys, even better. Photos of you with your bike and impressive looking landmarks in the background are great.

biker

Brooding Artist: Show off your visual art with you standing in front of it. If you’re a performance artist, post pictures of you singing your heart out. If there’s a crowd in the background admiring your work, even better. Let the fiery emotion from your passionate soul show through your eyes.

brooding-artist

Extreme Risk Taker: Show pictures of yourself jumping out of planes, flying through the air after a 100-foot ski jump, scaling a bare rock cliff face, etc. The more dangerous (looking), the better. The more pure ecstasy in your facial expression, the better.

risk-taker-cropped

 

Of course there are tons more sexy archetypes. I go over strategies for a lot of them in my book on Instagram Seduction. You’ll want to stick to one main archetype in order to get the maximum benefit from it. But if you want you can have a secondary archetype, which is less of a focus. This will show that there are multiple sides to you. A secondary archetype should serve to balance you out a bit. For example, if your primary archetype is a playboy/CEO, a good secondary archetype might be the brooding artist. This shows that you’re a shark in business and super confident with the ladies, but you also have a reflective side and like to express your complex emotions when the situation is appropriate.

Stay tuned for part three, in which we’ll go over the kinds of things to say to girls when you first contact them.