Part of your conception of yourself as a man will doubtlessly come from your abilities with women. Women are hardwired to be attracted to men whom they perceive as high value. And it works the same in reverse. Women’s attraction to you (or lack thereof) will influence your perception of your own value. Nature allocates value based on one’s ability to survive and reproduce. In a modern society in which survival is taken for granted, your ability to attract women (and thus reproduce) becomes the single most relevant factor in your (and everybody else’s) assessment of your overall value.If women are not very attracted to you, you probably have a poor impression of yourself, which in turn makes women even less attracted. This is a vicious cycle, and we need to tackle both parts at the same time.
Morale is important here, so we want to make sure you have some early successes in the way that is easiest for you and best fits your unique personality. There are many ways to skin a cat, and there are many ways to pick up beautiful women. I’ll go over a few of the more common ones along with what type of guys, in my experience, tend to have success with each of them.
Social Circle Game
This sort of game tends to be the default for most guys who aren’t familiar with the Crimson Arts. Social circle game involves meeting girls through friends and family. This could be getting your buddy to hook you up with his girlfriend’s best friend. Or it could be asking out the cute girl who works down the aisle at your office. Or it could be getting invited to your friends’ private parties and meeting girls there.
Just because most AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps; guys with no game) pursue this avenue does not mean it’s no good. In fact, this is an extremely effective method for guys with connections and/or social skills. If you have a lot of friends and an outgoing personality, you can do very well at social circle game. Your job and station in life can help as well. If you’re in a fraternity in college or work as a nightclub promoter or DJ, this can be an amazing way to meet and seduce tons of beautiful girls. Another method I’ve seen work impressively well is to organize regular pub crawls for tourists. If you’ve got the social chops, social circle game can be highly effective.
My favorite source for social game strategies and techniques is Luke from Real Social Dynamics.
When you think of the term “pickup artist”, you probably think of guys picking up girls in bars and clubs. This is typically called “night game” and this is the focus of many (perhaps most) in the PUA community. Night game is great for having access to a lot of girls in the same place that you can quickly approach, and you likely have the help of alcohol to help lower your (and the girls’) inhibitions.
Night game works great for guys that are high energy, loud, and outgoing. This is necessary in bars and clubs, because you have a lot to compete with for the girls’ attention. You have to compete with other guys, girl friends, and loud music. So you have to be high energy enough and interesting enough right off the bat to hold a girl’s attention. If you can do this, then with a little practice you can become a highly effective night game pickup artist.
If you haven’t already, watch the TV series The Pickup Artist on VH1. This is how I first learned about the PUA community (my girlfriend at the time thought Mystery was totally cute). It’s a bit dated now, but the combination of practical advice plus infield video is very helpful. I also highly recommend the work of Gambler.
Probably the most difficult (rewarding) type of game is day game. This involves picking up girls on the street, in shopping malls, in coffee shops, on college campuses, etc. during the day. Day game is treated mostly as an afterthought by a lot of the big name PUA gurus, but a few PUAs make it their bread and butter. Day game doesn’t (usually) offer the volume of hot girls all in one place that night game offers, but it does let you avoid most of the noise and distractions.
Day game is much better for quiet, introverted guys, but it also requires balls of steel. It is less socially acceptable to approach girls during the day, and you don’t get the benefit of alcohol to give you courage. But girls will respect you (and thus be attracted to you) more for a daytime approach, and won’t have their “bitch shields” (mean, guarded attitudes) engaged nearly as much as they do at the bar.
My favorite day game method is that of Nick Krauser.
The least intimidating, but most over-saturated, form of game is online game. This means picking up girls on websites and apps. This generally means dating sites and apps like Tinder, POF, Match.com, eHarmony, etc, but technically can include any app or website on which you can interact with girls. Online game is easy to get into, since setting up an online profile and sending online messages doesn’t require a whole lot of effort. But since it seems so easy, you end up having a lot of competition with other guys also looking to take the easy route. You can definitely have success with online game, but you have to be a bit more clever to stand out from the multitudes of other guys.
Online game is great for guys with strong analytical skills, because the art in online game largely involves clever strategizing and testing small tweaks in your methods. Online game gives you the time and space to put some thought into every word, unlike other sorts of game which are mostly in-person and spur of the moment. Different apps/websites will appeal to guys with different selling points. Tinder, for example, is particularly good for good-looking guys. Paid dating sites like eHarmony and Match are good for guys who are a bit older and have good careers.
My most effective strategy for online game is to go where hardly anyone else is looking. This is similar to the mentality behind day game: go where the girls are but there aren’t other guys competing with you over them. I’ve had incredible success picking up girls using Instagram. I will be sharing some of my methods in upcoming posts, so stay tuned.
If you’re new to game, this might all seem a little overwhelming. My advice is to pick one method that best suits your unique abilities and personality and stick with it. Once you’ve gotten good at one method, then you can try branching out into others. In my case, I started out with night game, because that’s what I saw on TV and in most of the articles I read. I had some success with night game, but eventually happened upon day game, and felt that day game was a better fit for my more chill, introverted personality. I got to be very skilled at day game and made that my specialty. In the mean time, I had tinkered here and there with online game. I got a few good girlfriends from Tinder and POF, but without overwhelming success because I didn’t devote very much effort to it. Eventually I started using Instagram, and figured out pretty quick that I had stumbled upon a gold mine. Now my game is about evenly split between day game and Instagram.
I hope you were able to decide on a type of game that suits you. If you choose to pursue social game or night game, I highly recommend you find a comprehensive method from a well-regarded PUA and follow it religiously. If you want to pursue day game or online game, I encourage you to subscribe to my blog and check back periodically for material. Whatever you choose, stick with it. Few things worth doing are easy. Regardless of what type of game you pursue, you’re going to have to put in the work. If you want to learn how to be an all-around confident, strong, high value man in general, check back here often.